ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
