yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
