I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
