Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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