I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
