2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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