You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
