hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
