I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
