do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
