just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
