This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
