so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
