I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
