Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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