Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
