You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
