fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
