I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
