Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
