I wish life had little blips of pornography
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
as a side note pls kill me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
