My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
