You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
