I think I won the penis lottery.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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