I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
