My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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