Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize