i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
