So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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