i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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