i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
