Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
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so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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