she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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