he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This house was built for laser tag.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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