how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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