If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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