Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
