ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
