Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
