my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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