Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
