i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
