so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
