You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
