Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
