I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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