We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need water and some morals
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
