Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
