he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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