Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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