Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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