he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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