My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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