Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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