Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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