im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
