i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
