He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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