ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize