I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga