He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life