I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
