I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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