I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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