I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
