Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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