i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
