Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
