Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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