i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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