I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
