how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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